After two years of discernment, I came to the understanding that I am not called to the single life. So that left two possible vocations for me. Marriage and Religious Life. Finding God's calling to us on vocations isn't always an easy question to answer. Typically much discernment and prayer takes place before the question gets an answer. We are all called to a specific vocation, we just have to find out which one.
The Answer
And after about three years of discernment and prayer, I have my answer. It honestly wasn't the answer I was expecting, but I know I can and will be happy living out my vocation of marriage. After receiving the signs which I knew were meant for me, I felt like I was floating on air! As if God had spoke to me face to face! I felt filled with love and peace, the Holy Spirit! I litterally skipped through the rain to the car!
My Signs
The first sign: Last summer I attended a Steubenville Youth Conference which marked two years of discernment for me. All that weekend I prayed for a sign, or even a hint towards my vocation. Friday came and went and nothing seemed to have answered that prayer, so I continued to pray that prayer throughout that Saturday. I've been taught not to come to retreats with any expectations, that way, you won't be disappointed if your expectations aren't met. So not receiving any sign that Friday didn't really disappoint me, because I wasn't expecting one that weekend. But God had a different plan. Saturday evening after woman's session, my small group decided to walk to the church for confession. After going over the Examination of Conscience, I began to pray. I had just finished my vocations prayer, when I felt a tap on my shoulder and heard someone whisper that a priest was free and ready to hear my confession. So I went, and after confessing and receiving absolution, I was about to go, when the priest looked at me and said, "One day, you are going to be a wife and mother." I was so shocked! Then the priest just smiled and said "God Bless you." I went back to a pew to do my penance, and I was so shocked, it took me a few minutes to remember what the priest had given me for my penance! I continued to discern after that because I concluded that it could be taken two ways, marriage, or becoming a sister and taking God as my spouse and becoming a mother to all the children of the earth.
“Patience is power.
Patience is not an absence of action;
rather it is "timing"
it waits on the right time to act,
for the right principles
and in the right way.”
― Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
Patience is not an absence of action;
rather it is "timing"
it waits on the right time to act,
for the right principles
and in the right way.”
― Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
The second sign: This time, it was everywhere. People would randomly tell me that I'm going to be a great wife and mother, which brought back the memory of what the priest had told me at Steubenville. I'd pray for direction in my vocation, then be watching or reading something and a wedding or proposal would be in the book or TV show I was reading or watching. Signs like that led me to pray for a big and final sign that I was called to marriage.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Pray for us!
The third sign: On February 11, 2014 I attended daily Mass a friend in celebration of the anniversary of her Baptism day. We walked into the church knelt, and began to pray. Before I took my seat, I prayed the same prayer I had prayed before receiving Confession at Steubenville the summer before. Just after the priest processed in, before the Mass began, he announced that we would not only be celebrating the Sacrament of the Eucharist, but also the Sacrament of Marriage! I was completely and utterly shocked! What are the odds of attending a wedding during a daily Mass, on a day that I just happen to be able to make it to daily Mass, and after praying my vocations prayer!? It was amazing! After Mass, the priest placed the Eucharist in the Monstrance, on the Alter where we were able to spend some time in adoration. And after this, I skipped through the rain to the car. Just such an amazing night! And many prayers of thanksgiving for answered prayers have been said since!
And now, I continue praying for my future husband to seek God with all he is, to put Him first before all things, and to stand strong when faced with weakness, and to be a light of the Church that he may lead others to God through his actions and words.
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
-- Matthew 19:4-6 --
"Love is patient, love is kind.
It is not jealous, it is not pompous.
It does not seek its own interests.
It is not quick-tempered.
It does not brood over injury.
It does not rejoice over wrongdoing,
But rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things,
Hopes all things, endures all things."
--1 Corinthians 13:4-7--